the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize