I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Randomize
