Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
