nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
