i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
