I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
