please come you make the beer taste better
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
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