just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
