I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
