Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
