went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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