I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
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