so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Randomize
