so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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