oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
