Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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