Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
