O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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