Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
