Can Purell be used as lube?
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
