okay pat passed out under dana's car
i think my mom watched the whole time
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
