I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
