party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
