The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
