I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
