"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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