he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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