We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Randomize
