when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
