toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
