sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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