I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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