Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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