she takes plan B like it's going out of style
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I'm always down for nudity.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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