your thong is hanging out like whoa
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
