We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
