I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
