i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
