I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
