i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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