Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
