you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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