I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
