Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
vagina is talking i cant
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
