It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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