I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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