We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
