I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Randomize
