i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
