im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
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